#131🚿 I run forward because you can't go backwards

+ what happened at the Dunes50k

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I’m on a mission to put the “Personal” back into Personal Development

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Shower thought🚿: Running forward.
I glance down at my Garmin watch. It’s 6:59am. There is no time left. No more time to stretch, prep, put on a final pump up song, or apply Squirrel’s Nut Butter (I send my nipples a small prayer).

What matters now isn’t how perfect my training was, how much sleep I got, or how I felt this morning.

Because it’s decision time.
I either choose to move forward or not.

A 50k race will make you question why you run.

Running is hard.
Physically and mentally.
When you run for hours on end, the race is taking place in your head.

Every step you take “in the real world” is just setting the scene for the battle within. The Dunes50k provided a worthy stage — 90 degree temperatures with no shade, zero-bounce sugar sand, and somehow 1800 feet of elevation in pancake-flat South Florida.

We all fight a voice in our head.
For me, it’s a little voice of fear.
“You’re not good enough” | “You don’t belong here” | “You’re wasting your time”

When you run for 6 hours you give that little voice a megaphone.
It will scream at you and BEG you to stop.
It will make you question who you are.

This voice plays dirty, knows you well, and exploits all of your faults.
You better know why you’re running, and it better be a good reason.

I had many chances to quit.

There were many excuses I could have easily made and validated with the world… I could’ve chalked it up to —

• Not enough time to train

• A demanding 2 year old and career

• Bad sleep

• Chafing

• A tough course

• Hot weather

• Missing a sign and going off trail for 2 miles

• Stomach indigestion

• Leg cramps

• Losing a toenail

The list goes on.
Every setback in an ultra is an opportunity to make a choice.
To retreat to comfort or move forward.

The secret is to not look back.

There’s a game I play during races called Roadkill. The game is simple — Pass people and leave them “Dead on the road.”

It’s exhilarating. There’s something primal about stalking another mammal, locking eyes, and watching them break down as you close the gap in distance.

Over the course of 31 miles, you find lots of roadkill.
And you know it when you see it.
It starts with one single choice — looking back.

True strength is moving forward together.

But this race, for the very first time, something in me changed. I got off-course early, ran 2 extra miles, and worked my way back up near the top from dead last. Meaning, I passed a lot of people.

I enjoyed “the chase”. Stalking each runner in front of me. Diligently picking up my pace in order to gain a lead.

But I did not enjoy watching people quit on themselves. I didn’t want to “steal their energy”.. I wanted uplift and pull my fellow runners forward.

And there’s my lesson… for running and life.

The secret is to not look backwards.
True strength is found in helping others.

— Keep moving forward.

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THANK YOU for making it to the end!

The ColdShower: Weekly ideas for better health, habits, and happiness.